Eco Help

Okay, people. We have a mission here. There are two sides to that mission, and by that, I mean two outcomes.

Outcome Numero Uno: We all die, and Earth shrivels up into an unknown brown glob of who-knows-what. Life as we know it will cease to exist.

Outcome Numero Dos: We all survive, and Earth stays the same as it is now, except that it won't be degrading and the hole in the ozone over Antarctica won't be there, and there won't be any smog, and the world will run 100% off of solar and wind and hydro energy, and...well...maybe it won't be the same at all.

So, which one would you rather have? I'm guessing that, if you're sane, you chose the second one, because human beings tend to like staying alive. It's a weird little quirk, I guess.*

Anyway, to keep Earth from shriveling up, here are some simple things that you can do around your neighborhood:

1. Recycle. I know, you hear it a lot. "Recycle this, recycle that! Clean up your room, Johnny!" But if everyone recycled five soda bottles on the continental US, we would have almost a trillion pounds of recycled plastic.

2. Clean up. No, I don't mean your room. I mean, if you have trash in your yard, around your school, in a pond you know of, or even in an abandoned lot or field, go pick it up! Get some friends together, form a squad of eco-friendly people, and GO CLEAN IT UP! Sheesh, I need to stop drinking caffeine.

3. Spread the word. Tell your family. Tell your friends. Tell your teachers. Tell your teachers' family and friends. Call the POTUS on your cell and tell them that the world is going to explode (seriously, call Obama. I want to know what happens.)

Do these three totally awesome things that I just made up, and you'll be sitting pretty on a nice, green Earth without pollution, smog, smoke, holes in the ozone, etc. And if you don't believe me, go fall in a ditch, rot in a sack, roll into a river, and get eaten by a rabid sewer rat, because you're obviously being misinformed about something. Smell ya people later!

~Muffin.

*Quirk: –noun
1. a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality; mannerism: He is full of strange quirks.
2. a shift, subterfuge, or evasion; quibble.
3. a sudden twist or turn: He lost his money by a quirk of fate.
4. a flourish or showy stroke, as in writing.
5. Architecture. a. an acute angle or channel, as one dividing two parts of a molding or one dividing a flush bead from the adjoining surfaces.
b. an area taken from a larger area, as a room or a plot of ground.
c. an enclosure for this area.

6. Obsolete. a clever or witty remark; quip.